I have to say that modelling the right behaviours to my team at work has not been a conscious pursuit for me most of the time. I always thought that being someone who is honest and with integrity true to my core values would be enough. But is it?

The possibility that I might have ADHD has really opened up discussions about how I lead and irrespective of whether the diagnosis comes or not it does tell me something. Leading by example, do as I say not as I do, is not enough.

Imagine your boss exhibiting the following behaviours:

• Sensitivity to criticism/perceived rejection and irrational responses,
• inconsistency and need to ‘people please’,
• moulding to the needs of those you meet rather than doing the right thing,
• aiming for perfection rather than ‘good enough’,
• always being available even when on holiday and checking work WhatsApps etc (often ruining an otherwise lovely day!)
• working ungodly hours to keep on top,
• turning up at work events when unwell,
• subservience and avoiding confrontation even where needed,
• busying your diary and saying yes to everything and
• generally working at ridiculous pace

What does this says to your team? It sets unrealistic modelling of behaviours that actually whilst well intended and part of my normal process is not good for the people and can leave them feeling inadequate or confused. It’s not coming from a bad place but it is not helping anyone else.

Having insight into your processes as a leader and checking them out with your team can be valuable, of course you have to have built a level of trust with colleagues for them to be honest with their feedback to you. I feel that I try hard to manage many of the processes in the list but not always successfully, and trust me – it’s exhausting!

What do you think? Any experiences of this? Any ‘hacks’?