So I had my assessment for ADHD yesterday with Skylight Psychiatry via video link.

Skylight are one of a number of providers who GPs can refer to under the ‘Right to Choose’ framework but they are not the mainstream NHS services.

If all you want is an assessment and potentially medication this is a very quick way to do it versus NHS waiting lists of anything up to four/five years and beyond. That said, being in England they are not an NHS provider so depending on your needs it could become costly and complicated in the future.

For me this was all about somebody externally validating my life experiences and agreeing that what I go through is consistent with the criteria for a diagnosis. I don’t know yet whether I would want meds or not and I already have talking therapies and ADHD coaching in place.

The assessor was five minutes late from the starting time, I was starting to fret but I settled down soon enough.

She asked me a series of questions, some very short and others lending themselves to longer answers where I could quote examples of how traits play out in my everyday life.

She asked a lot about my childhood from birth, as it was I was born 10 weeks premature and was in an incubator for six weeks before I could go to the family home. School was discussed and how I was – I loved sport but found some lessons very dull and had a habit of zoning out. I also git into a fair few fist fights, looking back it felt like rejection sensitivity (sorry Greg I shouldn’t have waited for you at the gates and tore into you but you did shove an empty bag of crisps down my back and laughed).

My reports were generally positive and I was seen as an intelligent child though could do better if I really applied myself.

I really underperformed when it came to GCSEs only revising the night before exams, cramming and just not doing the coursework to supplement the teaching.

The assessor asked about adult life too and asked why I’d come for assessment. It was clear as I relayed my experiences to her that I really did tick a whole lot of boxes with risk taking (3 x speed awareness courses) and other examples of a lack of restraint or concern for the potential implications in a few areas. Money management and impulsivity featured highly too and is something I’ve worked hard to get on top of.

Rejection sensitivity was another big clue taking the slightest sign of criticism or slight and spiralling into self pity and sadness often for no reason. I also said how forgetful I am and that I am always on the go mentally and doing lots of things at once. Ironically it wasn’t always the things I needed to do that I was concentrating on.

So anyway, we wrapped up the assessment in around 70-80 minutes I think and the assessor said that using DSM 5 I had nine out of nine signs of the inattention aspect and I think she said five out of nine of the hyperactive/impulsive strands.

She said that a full report would be sent to me in a few weeks and that I may want to look into ADHD coaching, medication, Access to Work support etc. asked if I had any questions.

I did wonder if my hyperfocus lately on learning about ADHD and immersing myself in the world of neurodivergence may have biased my results if I deliberately answered in a way that would lead to diagnosis. The assessor had a background in speech and language therapy and said that my scores along with the report submitted separately by my partner and being able to watch for cues, body language and how I spoke etc all came into the assessment.

So there we have it. I was referred less than two months ago and already have a diagnosis. People I told yesterday were a mix of congratulations (they knew it was important for me to make sense of how I felt) and asking how they should react! Some perhaps decided not to get in contact not knowing how I felt. All good.

Since writing about ADHD I’m so happy at how many people have talked to me about themselves and others and were glad that I was speaking up.

For now I’m relieved but also a little numb and feeling that already the knowledge of the diagnosis makes everything feel a little bit different in many ways. If you know me, don’t feel awkward, say and ask anything you want. I’m not broken and I’m still the same guy as I was before the assessment but I have more self awareness.

Well, life begins again at 51. Who knew? (Probably a lot of people apart from me!!).