For anyone entering the Christmas week with a new ADHD diagnosis (self diagnosed or clinically) this is going to be an interesting time, perhaps testing just as it is for many people who have known for a while that they are/have ADHD.

Tradition dictates that in many families there are gatherings and often groups of people coming together who haven’t all done so since last Christmas. Some people will have learned of your diagnosis second-hand or may have read your musings if you’ve documented it on social media or in messages. There could be mutual awkwardness around this with you waiting to be asked about how you feel and you also hoping that nobody asks. It can feel like the elephant in the room as for you it is all-consuming, you now have a name and reason for so many of your processes which seems to make life harder for you (or at times easier).

Loneliness is greatly magnified at occasions like this where the impression you get is that everyone else is happy and loving life. I remember when I was a volunteer listener with Samaritans volunteering to be there taking calls on Christmas Day because I was single and had no real plans. Giving service to others took me away from being sad for myself – how many people with ADHD are amazingly helpful and available to others but pretty rubbish friends to themselves?

Of course sensory overload is a big risk at Christmas with the loud music, gatherings of people in close contact, food smells, worry about etiquette and manners when in someone else’s house, kids screaming etc. For a lot of the year you may be able to control your environment but for a week or so of the year the rulebook is thrown out of the window and you have to wear your proverbial hard hat.

Triggering happens as well if you’ve had trauma around the festive season in the past which you’re reminded of once the decorations start appearing around the neighbourhood and Christmas adverts come on.

Many ADHDers are of course hopelessly impulsive and fancy-free with an appetite for risk and excitement. Alcohol is usually in good supply and you’re put into close contact with people you might not normally be close to socially in office parties or family gatherings. Taking care to understand how you are when intoxicated and what you do and don’t want to happen merits preparation and mitigations, but many with ADHD won’t take the time to do this – planning not always a strong suit.

Like many people, I can feel quite morbid and shy when I know that the expectation is that people are happy and worry-free, It takes an extraordinary amount of effort to fit into the crowd and pretend to enjoy yourself. For many it’s a faking of a headache or similar and opting out of the celebrations.

ADHD is hard all-year round but at this time of year it can bring challenges. I hope that if it’s your first Christmas since you became aware of your ADHD that you can take steps to keep ok and consider how to discuss it (or when asked say “i’m fine” as usual, meaning “I don’t want to talk about it”.