So that yellow thing in the sky seems to be out a bit more lately in the northern hemisphere. Naturally thoughts turn to summer getaways and for me the first one knowing that I had ADHD rather than wondering why I found it hard to relax or felt guilty for spending some of it not having an amazing time.

So as someone who is unmasked and showing/recognising my ADHD much more openly, I’m interested in the challenges that you can face when going on holiday as a neurodivergent person starting with the executive function challenges of even booking one.

I now realise that I tend to take a backseat on making arrangements for holidays though I have led before. I can easily book the wrong thing or for the wrong time, I recently booked parking unnecessarily for an extra week for a work conference – just didn’t notice.

People always ask if I’m excited pre-holiday and I have to admit that due to work I haven’t allowed myself to think about it or I won’t look forward to it until I’m in the departure lounge following security as that way the many things that can go wrong haven’t stopped us from getting to boarding the plane.

Perhaps part of it is the potential of hyperfocusing so much on researching the holiday that by the time it’s booked you’re thoroughly bored of the idea of going there

The process for searching, securing and then actually going on the holiday has many moving parts which need to come together. There are people you can pay to plan holidays, a bit like you can pay party planners and personal assistants to help you shop etc

Below are a few examples of where my inattentiveness has made going on holiday harder than it perhaps should be:

• Left booking til last minute and had to split family up on the plane
• Forgot to bring kids IPad and so bought a Fire Tablet at the airport (extra £170 ADHD tax)
• Didn’t book for extra luggage and had additional oversized items that ended up getting wrapped up costing more (extra £60 ADHD tax)
• Left power bank in checked-in luggage and so had to get called to dark and dusty room to have it removed and then had to leave it there due to lack of time to take through security (ADHD tax c.£30)
• Browsed through shops for too long not knowing or having checked that there was a second check-in area so missed plane and had to book overnight room and additional flight (ADHD tax c.£200). Bought Polish vodka to bring home to partner but drank it at the hotel for the unexpected extra night, replaced that one and then smashed it at home accidentally (ADHD tax c. £30)
• Left dental aligners at home so had to restart regime few steps back upon return home
• Left underwear unpacked at home so bought replacements on holiday (ADHD tax c.£10)

There are many other examples of where I’ve incurred unnecessary extra costs in terms of the financial ‘ADHD tax’ but also the cost in terms of time.

Below are some top tips to consider approaching your next getaway whether you have ADHD or someone in your party does:

Pre-trip:

• Write a list of actions needed ahead of the trip and discuss if travelling with another adult division of responsibilities (play to strengths rather than volunteer to do things you hate!) it may be that someone else writes the list and gives you some jobs!
• Write a list of what to take and have it visible by the door so that you can tick it off prior to going and ensure nothing is forgotten
• Well ahead of time check ID documents for expiry dates
• Look at amenities at the venue you’re going to. What matters most? Kids entertainment/gym/spa/proximity to beach/food options etc
• If going as a family check the room layout. In some cases the moment the kids go to bed is the moment your night is pretty much over too due to the layout of the space
• Check if you can get some discount or rewards for what you book e.g. Quidco, Blue Light discount, armed forces discount, spending on credit card e.g. nectar.
• Check on travel insurance, as an ADHDer (unrecognised until recently) I’ve had luggage lost and had to seek medical treatment when overseas. Some bank accounts have such benefits built-in
• Check on browsing/data/roaming for your mobile provider rather than pay through the nose whilst away
• Think about how much you need to control your environment whilst away. Take ear plugs/headphones/sleep masks etc to help relax or regulate and slof course, sleep
• Prepare your work colleagues (and yourself) for the fact that you intend to shut off from looking at work emails etc. I’ve ruined entire days on holiday because of reading work emails that wound me up. If travelling with another adult tell them you are determined not to engage with any work messages whilst away (extra accountability)
• Pack a few duplicates of e.g. sunglasses, hats etc in case of loss or damage
• Consider parking and whether to park at the airport or get a taxi or shuttle bus
• Consider booking excursions ahead of the trip to avoid overinflated costs at the hotel for trips pushed by local reps
• Get a VPN service for your decide if you want to watch TV overseas
• Learn some helpful commonly-used phrases in the local dialect to warm yourself to them (even if you don’t understand their response). How many of us are going away after a year or two doing Duolingo?
• The sense of reward for feeling brave and trying a question or response in the local language does give you a small but noticeable dopamine hit (just don’t let the RSD gremlins scupper the good feels) and also raises self-esteem. Knowing you’re one of the few Brits trying to converse with the locals is a source of pride and gauging human responses to you talking in their language teaches you more than an app can
• Turn off heating/hot water schedules at home to avoid wasting energy (more ADHD tax)
• Ask about any extra costs in advance such as a new one on me which is having to pay extra for use of a hotel room safe. For many of us, our sense of justice when we feel taken advantage of can severely impact our enjoyment of a trip away
• Ensure that ADHD meds are not prohibited where you are going. Check how long your repeat prescriptions will last on current stocks and re-order early if due to run out whilst away
• Leave plenty of time for your ADHD so set off for the airport etc earlier than necessary, perhaps an extra hour earlier

Whilst away

• If you are a British citizen realise that the freedom of movement lost as a result of Brexit adds extra time for many of us when travelling around Europe (bloody Boris Bus!)
• Chunk your days into different slots e.g. get up and go to breakfast, then 4 hour slot til lunch then 4 hour slot til dinner. Consider how to use the time rather than see endless days ahead that feels overwhelming
• Hydrate – we can ignore our usual bodily needs at home but then of somewhere hot it’s even more important we don’t ruin our break by failing to stay hydrated
• Make sure you bring plenty of suncream if going somewhere with the likelihood of some sunshine. Get into a routine of reapplying it throughout the day i.e. breakfast, lunch and later and if you’re fair-skinned you’ll need to minimise how long you’re out in direct sunlight even though part of you doesn’t want to worry about it
• Think about how to structure your days. I can feel overwhelmed at seven days ahead with no work or plans. I operate better having at least one main focus per day to ‘anchor’ me for that day giving freedom to be spontaneous around it
• Pay in local currency rather than getting vendors to convert to your own currency as you’ll often be charged higher conversion costs that way
• Find ways of occupying your mind when away as you’ll still be craving stimulation. Whether this is podcasts, puzzles, crosswords, sudoku, Wordle, colouring books, books and audio books
• Read up on where you’re going to get a sense of it’s history. Doing so may enable you to take my more of an interest in it when you’re there
• If you have a routine you enjoy stick with it and if need be explain why you don’t want to mess with it. We can be stubborn and stuck in our ways but it helps ourselves and others to talk through it. An example of one for me is that I wait at the table and let the rest of the party to get their food before I get mine. I realise now that this is the provider instinct in me, my love language of being of service to others. Prioritise myself last in the order of going up for food
• Remember the invisible guest theory often mentioned in relation to parties/conferences etc. to most, you are invisible as they are focused on themselves – how they look, how they come across etc and people are not obsessing over you (apart from you).
• Holidays are good at exposing our insecurities about our physique, imperfections etc but holidays are liberating too. Most people you are around know nothing about you so go and play with that for a bit. There are no ‘norms’ for you to confirm to as nobody knows what’s normal for you. So go and dance, do karaoke, wear that shirt that your partner hates but you love and wear less clothes than normal without thinking that everyone is pointing at you behind your back (they’re not, promise)
• Who are you going with and how do you feel about the prospect? It’s rare to spend so much time in a relatively small space with someone so be careful as it’s possible to regret even the loveliest destinations not because of where but more about why and how
• Consider noting down any spending whilst at the hotel as you will have to pay it all before you go. Particularly an issue if you’ve drawn out local currency to cover your break
• Your boredom is someone else’s bliss. Spending hours sat on a sun lounger being served drinks sounds perfect to some and thoroughly boring and pointless to others. Many of us will use our phones more as we seek dopamine but of course it’s fast and fades fast leading to dissatisfaction later

Ending your trip

• Take your time when leaving your room when checking out, it’s in a hurry that you leave stuff at the hotel
• Check ahead of departing for the airport for any changes to timings
• Have boarding passes and ID documents readily available rather than at the bottom of a densely-packed case
• Consider when you’ll get home. Do you need to book a groceries delivery for later so you don’t come back from bottomless buffets to an empty fridge and cupboards. Got to pre-empt the almost inevitable post-holiday slump
• If you had a good time tell people especially any recommendations for others with ADHD. Listen to views from people you know on hotels you’re considering booking. Use review sites like Tripadvisor and mention anything they do to better serve neurodivergent guests even if that’s not why they do it. Examples are being able to download an app and message the hotel with any asks during the stay

The point of going away is often to reset, reconnect and relax. Three Rs. Try to prioritise those things as it’ll often be a while before you do it again as you rejoin the rat race.

Be ready to bear unforeseen costs aka the ADHD tax. Our propensity for losing things, breaking them, forgetting stuff and missing deadlines can cost hundreds of pounds extra. May as well budget for it rather than beat yourself up when the (almost) inevitable happens.

Feel free to add your own tips for those with ADHD going on holiday…oh and if you’re taking them, don’t forget your meds.