There are many ways of helping to regulate when you get to the horribly deregulated spiral associated with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD).

I went through this one with my therapist and then produced a short document that others can use for themselves.

This approach is borrowed from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and is called NATs and BATs!

NATs are negative automatic thoughts and BATs are the more considered (and often more accurate) balanced alternative thoughts.

Put simply you take a piece of paper, or whiteboard etc and draw a vertical line down it. On the left put NATs as the title, on the right of the line put BATs.

On the left list everything you’re feeling – emotions, feelings, insecurities, worse case scenarios etc and let it all go.

Then take 10 minutes or so out and leave it alone. Put the kettle on, have a walk or whatever.

Go back to the list and in the right hand BATs column answer the NATs with more considered alternative thoughts. If your friend had written that list on the left what would you respond with?

Likelihood is that you would out the irrational stuff and explain the more likely scenario which would be much less distressing.

Check back on your lists and highlight words/phrases to allow you to work with them.

The key is to calm your nervous system by writing and having a cathartic rant and then when more regulated to back and question this version of things.

It may not always work but as a first aid measure it may help you to get things into perspective.

Have a go and share how you get on. Most of the things we spiral about don’t happen and we are so often our own worst critic. We need to settle our busy minds

Design your own version of the NATs and BATs sheet.

Good luck.