One giveaway that I’m ADHD is the level of hyperfocus I can put on a task/project/objective.

I remember example working going back years as a NCO (non-commissioned officer) in the RAF that at times I would set an example (perhaps not a great one) by working into the early hours to achieve a goal ahead of an inspection and wonder why others would flag around me. I would focus on the objective and do all I could but often probably didn’t take others with me as most of them were not ADHD and even if they were they might not have been hyperfocused on the same thing.

I also remember on basic training that I was hopeless at ironing, I got verbal instructions on how to do it a failed every time. This was a problem as your kit was inspected very early every morning and my ironing just wasn’t good enough. I found it hard to follow verbal instructions including weapons drill and marching and despite passing out/graduating from training I always felt like a failure. I was one of few trainees to put weight on during basic training due to the binge eating (comfort eating) I did due to my ineffectiveness to do my tasks and shyness around others in communal spaces. I remember hallucinating in the early hours crawling around the floors because I was ironing for hours and couldn’t crack it meaning no sleep and no socialising. It did however prove to me that I’m a scrapper – someone who even if not well-suited to a task will dig in and get through with gritted teeth – that’s always been me and how I’ve been brought up – just do it, get on with it.

Is hyperfocus a thing for you? Does it distract you from reality and is that the point? Equally does it give you another new exciting thing to do so that the dopamine can keep flowing? Don’t be ashamed of it, embrace it but explain it to those who do not understand it.

I was described as my boss as ‘Mr Military’ as I prized discipline and performance against targets, in truth I was not particularly military but the order and process that the military gave me was useful in ensuring that I could do my job.

A job leaving me to it for too long was never great, I needed structure and overview to ensure that I didn’t drift and underperform. I didn’t know it but I was prone to procrastination if I didn’t have clear plans ahead, so I thrived with a disciplined military approach.

Even now I can disappear mentally for days if in the throes of another hyperfocus, I’m there in body but my head is somewhere else in a place very exciting to me.

The establishing of the HYPERFOCUSED! website and social media presence is a great example. I started working on it in October and launched on the 20th and really went for it.

I’m proud of how much energy I can spend to make things happen but is it always a good thing? Many/most people with ADHD experience hyperfocus regularly and it’s such a massive part of who I am that I’ve adopted the term. I feel useful when in hyperfocus, I produce and feel ‘in the flow’.

The downside to hyperfocus is that even when it working on the subject of it whether a project, new musical interest (band), film or TV genre etc isn’t its obvious to those closest to you that you’re less available. I imagine that it comes across as obsessed and more interested in other things than those around me when in truth the level of focus I’m enjoying is probably much more intense than anything they are used to. This can come across badly I’m sure.

How to cope with this?

The more I explore ADHD the more I think that communication is key. Explaining that I’m zoning out either because I am disconnected and not comfortable or because I am hyper-fixated on something else is useful even if it leaves family around me feeling second class – a lesser priority.

In a sense perhaps I’m taking them for granted whilst allowing me to go on my psychological flights of fancy. I need to go on these journeys but perhaps need to communicate more about what they are and how they impact me. How do you explain that you can go from not wanting to move to having boundless energy and focus for something new – but couldn’t do this for those close to you?

My good friend told me tonight on a night out that I always seem to have to have something planned, like I want to be occupied. He’s right, empty space gives me palpitations – what I going to do? I need to work on this, and the concept of ‘rest’.

It’s pretty tough but trust me it’s not a voluntary act. It’s the flow state and mega powerful and inviting. It’s probably the place people are in at their most creative but also the hardest place to be to connect with those closest to you.

I love the feeling of being in hyperfocus but somehow it feels very selfish and self indulgent so I know now to call it out and deal with it – not to quash it but to go through it together.