As an Englishman I’m not used to showing off or making a big noise about my good points. I like to keep a level of modesty and groundedness that prevents me from falling when the boots get too big.

But,

Is this approach good for your self esteem? Is being modest dangerous in that you can downplay what makes you you?

As an example, our greetings in England are usually “you alright?” then “yeh not bad” or “could be worse” but in Spain I asked how are you (como estas) to a few taxi drivers and all said “muy bueno” (very good) which may have been a standard response but already so much more upbeat. If someone replies with “very good thanks” or “great” we’re inclined to ask why.

Is this a hangover from the war years and stuff upper lip stoicism?  Maybe. But our media who does influence our behaviour greatly is similarly downbeat and keeps people down. How many newspaper headlines do you see that are positive versus negative? How many Brits who have done well for themselves have been attacked by the media and seemingly brought down a peg or too? We aren’t allowed to brag or look to smug or happy with ourselves.

I would argue that being too modest all the time is ultimately difficult for our mental wellbeing. When working with coaches/therapists we’re often challenged to come up with reasons to be cheerful, gratitude diaries etc. My ADHD coach always asks me at the start of the session to tell her about a win I’ve had in the last week. That can be challenging.

Oddly enough, it seems that if you come from these parts you have to make sure you don’t get too big for your boots and yet I live not in ‘Ok Britain, Alright Britain, Not too bad Britain, it’s flipping Great Britain!!!’