Many of us with ADHD struggle to be on time, even when we look forward to the events.
Nevertheless, it’s not that we don’t care, are lazy, or disrespectful.
Our wiring leads us to lose perception of time entirely.
Understanding what is getting in the way helps.
Often our busy minds see something coming up, then decide we have time to do it later.
Additionally, we may lose interest in the task and dither about whether to go, arriving late.
Moreover, we misremember times, and object impermanence means that unseen details go unnoticed.
Here are some ways you can try to improve your time-keeping. There is no single trick or hack that works for everyone.
- Write appointment/even times for the day on your hand. Get into the habit of checking your hand at regular intervals to ensure that you don’t forget. I have an orange hyperfocused.co.uk wristband on my left wrist which gives me more reason to pay attention to it
- Set alarms on your phone ahead of events, perhaps a default of one hour, or 30 minutes ahead. Know that you will lose track of time and need reminders however you can get them
- Ask anyone else who is going to the same event/appointment/meeting to give you a call or message an hour or so before the thing to remind you, the act of feeling accountable to them for turning up on time may help as you try to avoid criticism
- Make it a rule that you always turn up for any appointment/meeting/event a minimum of 10 minutes before the actual start time. Ignore the start time and do all you can to make it 10 minutes prior. You can always get there early and do something else to keep stimulated in the meantime then walk straight in time for the appointment
- The easier it is to keep time often the worse we are at doing it. I am more likely to be on time for something which is 20miles away than 1/2 a mile away. The confidence of being able to get somewhere quickly can lead to a sense of lack of urgency which is already an issue for us so plan ahead even if you have a very short distance to go to get to your appointment or else it looks even worse when you’re late despite being closest to it
- Always give yourself time around appointments/meetings etc to travel or to get up and reset etc. It is very easy to go to meetings online and keep adding more commitments so your day is almost back-to-back meetings. Any diversion from that can make you late very quickly
- Imagine that every time you are late your mum/dad/partner/son/daughter/boss will be sent a fine for £25. This isn’t to guilt you into finding incentives to improve your time-keeping but when we feel more accountable we often try harder and find ways to overcome our time-blindness. You may notice this for things that there is peril around your start time e.g. dental appointments which charge you if late – that extra level of challenge/penalty could give you that kick and excitement to beat the clock
- Gamify getting to things on time. We like challenges, we like beating the system, we like feeling that we’ve achieved something. Reward yourself for getting to a meeting on time, perhaps the reward is greater for every 5 minutes you are early?
- Consider your inner voice. Do you keep saying that you are ‘crap at timekeeping?’ Do you feel anxious about this and start off already nervous. Change this voice and become excited at overcoming your time-blindness, retrain your brain and tell yourself that you care about being on time and feel good when you achieve it. For you it’s not easy
- Look at a deadline and work backwards. Estimate how long it will take for each step if you have a process to go through e.g. getting to the pub on time. How are you getting there? How long will it take? Give yourself at least a 10 minute cushion, dithering time as you know how often you flap around before you go out making sure you have what you need
If this is all new to you, finding resources to read on executive function, time-blindness, habit-forming etc can help.
My main ways (and I still mess up a lot) are to have the start times for things on the back of my left hand, and to promise people that I’ll be there. My fear of rejection helps me overcome time-blindness, even temporarily. Read more here from other sites…