I’m just back from watching my beloved Nottingham Forest play in the Europa League against Turkish side Fenerbache. I’ve been a fan since the age of 10 and tonight I’ve finally been in the ground for a European game.
With depression and ADHD I think they have been a big part of my loss of interest in football and Forest despite the team having their best season for over 25 years last year – I didn’t go once to watch them and yet I had paid for a membership meaning I had priority for tickets when they sell out most games.
I just lost interest partly because of the way football at the top level of the sport goes at times but mainly I think because I got in my head about it and became slightly agoraphobic.
Tonight was excellent, the Turkish fans made for a good atmosphere, the TV cameras were there and after a nervy game the reds qualified for the quarter finals. I really loved it and with mate who I used to sit with no longer able to commit to go I went and sat on my own (well surrounded by other fans) and got talking to some of them.
It felt good to be back, I grew up in Norfolk and may have been the only kid in my high school supporting Forest because of my dad. I moved to Nottingham in 2005 and it’s my adopted home now. A part of me came back tonight and whilst I won’t be going all the time it does feel like I’m getting out there more again after a period where I really have let go of things I’ve cared about and lost the get up and go that I had.
I’m still on antidepressants and awaiting meds for ADHD which I’m up for trying though they’re not vital. My ADHD coaching is helping me though I am realising more and more how disruptive my brain can be and now the mask has fallen off I am very exposed and seeing it all as others at home are too.
If you are in a similar position please try to fight and hang onto your passions as they are part of you and reigniting them can help to reintegrate with the person you were only now with more insight and an awareness that you can turn to your advantage with some help.
Don’t let go of your passions.
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