A.pattern I now recognise which you may identify with is focus, focus, focus, shame.
I always seem to have a side hustle going whether that be running a community, hosting a podcast, creating supportive content for ADHDers, building websites and social media presence…all good right?
Yes until the hyperfixation gets so intense that it invades all other areas of your life and any negative feedback related to it turns me into an RSD-fuelled mess of emotions.
I’m in that loop again over something I’m very enthusiastic about – a speedway community that could do some good things. I get impatient and move away from a planned strategy of what to deliver and how. I also have a propensity to try to do everything myself rather than coordinate and make the conditions right for others to run with parts of it.
My current issues are around inviting logo ideas for a new community of people to help further the sport of speedway (motorcycle racing) and in my haste I’ve launched this idea as well as asking for people to help speedway if they have marketing/social media/content creation skills or contacts.
The use of the word investment for me in a post I made online was the wrong word, finance/sponsorship was the correct one and I was asked to change it, really politely. Of course I was mega apologetic and wanted to earth to swallow me whole. But the guy working with me is ok for me to keep going and thanked me for my efforts. I invite logo ideas then the entries are slated for all being AI-generated so now I want to use those ideas for inspiration for a non-AI produced logo rather than discredit what I’m trying to do.
You can’t please everyone but equally you don’t need to alienate people who could be of help.
Massive shame and embarrassment and of course you only tell your partner when all of this starts unravelling when you get to bed at 2.30am after yet another rabbit hole.
ADHDers in the search for the good stuff can be intensely creative but the flip side is that for me at least I know a crash is just around the corner. Then move on to something else because I resent the very thing I was massive focused on because I blame it for how I feel.
Any similar stories? Do others experience similar and what have you tried?
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